Does the Internet Help or Hurt Relationships?

Given all of the complexities surrounding dating and technology, it's easy to assume that technology makes relationships more difficult. But there are plenty of elements that can help a relationship, from small everyday interactions to larger relationship issues. Case in point: last night on my Facebook feed I noticed a husband and wife talking back and forth via Facebook wall posts — he was upstairs, she was downstairs. Friends made fun of the couple but then the wife posted a valid point: they use Facebook, texting, or even email to talk from different levels of their home when their kids are asleep. That way, both can get their work done and communicate with each other without waking the kids. It's a small example but shows how tech can easily solve an annoying problem.

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First Book Reading and Signing

Thank you all who attended my very first book reading and signing in Wyncote, PA! A special thank you to Ms. Belle who coordinated the signing. The event was a Blessing. Not only were books purchased by the attendees, but many purchased copies for others. This really encouraged me. I am very excited about the response and feedback from those who attended:

"Thank you and the book is definitely a treasure and keepsake for both genders.
Very informational! Keep rising to the top! I rate the book with ***** Stay
Blessed!"

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

See you at the next event!

Yours Truly,

JB Tremont

Do not use the kids against him.

Your children did not ask to be here, nor do they need to be involved in the details of your relationship. You do not have to talk down about him, put him down or tear him down in the eyes of your children. Kids are smart, and will figure things out for themselves pretty quickly. When you use your children as pawns in your relationship, it can affect their self-esteem. It can make them feel a lack of security, and cause them to worry. It can also affect their future relationships with men and women, causing them to be resentful, spiteful, and distrusting.

Using your children as pawns also teaches them that it is acceptable to use and/or manipulate others. They learn to become calculating and undermining, they lose their character, and they lack the integrity they should have – they use whatever it takes to get ahead. They become that person that you cannot trust, that person whom you always wonder about their true motives, because you taught them that it is alright to use people for their own self interest and personal gain. You have taught them that it is alright to walk on people and treat them like dirt. Remember, children learn from observation, association, and their environment; they learn from cause and effect. In other words, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Do not be Young and Dumb or Old and Stupid.

Ahhh, youth. Sometimes when we are young, we do the dumbest things. This is usually due to ignorance, a lack of knowledge, or a lack of experience. Hopefully, we learn from those experiences, and make better decisions.
However, there are some who still make stupid choices as they age. You many times attribute these choices to stubbornness, being set in your ways, unwillingness to change, or refusing to listen. Remember, whatever decisions you make, whatever choices you elect, YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THEM! So learn from those experiences, and make better choices.

Do not be so quick to give up

There will be bumps in the road. There will be surprises. There will be trials. Relationships require fortitude, a willingness to stick it out during the tough times. TOUGH IT OUT! You must take the bitter with the sweet. Your relationship will not always be smooth sailing. There will be situations that are difficult and painful, and circumstances that require strength, endurance, faith, courage, and resolve. If you both are determined to have your relationship succeed, you can make it through these times.

You Meet.

Upon meeting, there has to be a mutual attraction.  There is something that you like about him that makes you interested in getting to know him.  It could be his looks, his sense of style, or his sense of humor.  You perceive that he is someone worth getting to know. 

¨      When there is no attraction, or no interest, do not force it.  You get off the ride, and you do not move on to the dating stage.

Do not be bitter or angry.

Do not bottle up the anger.  Do not hold a grudge.  Anger and bitterness can cause you to be hateful and spiteful.  It pushes people away from you.  Anger and bitterness becomes a festering wound that will prevent you from overcoming the hurt and pain, which will prevent you from expressing love, or receiving love.

Searching for love in all the wrong places.

When there is an absence of love, a void in your life, you begin to search for love.  This search is sometimes at a cost and often produces inauthentic love.  In addition to accepting relationships that are not for you, that are unhealthy for you, you enter sexual relationships, looking for a man to love you, looking to feel loved.  SEX IS NOT LOVE.  Many times, these men are using you for sex, because after the sex, they move on and you do not feel valued.

Sometimes you become pregnant, either hoping that the child will create a bond between you and your lover, or you believe the baby will fulfill the lack of love in your life.  However, it is more likely that any bond created will only be temporary, that the father will not be in your life, and you will be a single parent.  Ultimately, you realize the love you have for your baby does not compare, and is not the same as the love you receive from a man.  Unfortunately, you experience hurt and pain when you realize that none of your choices fills the void, and none result in true love.

You reap what you sow

You reap what you sow.  If you sow havoc and discord, you reap havoc and discord.  If you sow envy and jealousy, you reap envy and jealousy.  Everything you do comes back to you.  “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” (Galatians 6:7, KJV)  Therefore, take care of how you treat others, because that same treatment will be repaid to you in your lifetime.  What you do now comes back upon you later.

Love is from the heart

It causes you to believe there are no boundaries, that you can conquer anything. You feel you can say anything, do anything, be anything. The thought of him makes your heart feel as if it will burst, that it can jump right out of your chest. The sight or scent of him makes your stomach jump or flutter. When you are not together, your heart aches for him, your heart longs for him. It is more than a feeling, it is a knowing. And NO ONE can tell you who to love!